Friday, April 17, 2009

Am sad like an unfinished story..!

Am sad...sad like butterflies pinned to a cardboard box..sad like a book with torn pages..sad like ocean shores empty of bathers..This trauma is colder than life..But then where would it end..! This rupture brought by your knife of loving sins...precocious with life..., Yet so internally lost within..your hate seeps eternally on a akin veil of skin..Where would i go with all these yet to live alone..! through a verdant forest i wander aimlessly...Once i had so many by my side..but now i feel them linger elsewhere...well am listening to the pitter patter of the rain..alone in the middle of my way..My o"l heart begins to feel the pain..Of missing you with all my might..! But nobody eben my shadow is there to share my ecstasy of pain..! standing out in the rain alone..trying to wash away all the pain...drowning in the sorrows of yester years.. hiding from my night mares and fears..the rain just gets harder and harder..!

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Reverse Living

Life is tough It takes up a lot of your time.
all your weekends,
And what do you get at the end of it??
..............Death, a great reward??
I think the life cycle is all backwards.
You should die first, get it out of the way.

Then you should live for 20 years in the old age home.
You get kicked out when you are too young,

You get a gold watch , you go to work.
You work for 40 years, until you're
Young enough to enjoy your retirement.
You go to college, you party untill you're ready for highschool,
You become a little kid, You play, You have no responsibilities,
You become a little boy or girl, you go back into the womb
You spend your last nine months floating,
And you finish off as a gleam in someone's eyes.

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Crossroads...( My teenage..)

The great Newyork marathon sounded itself with the buzz of the alarm, this is the "struggle for existence" as described by Darwin in its vivid form. Hey, What am i talking about?? This is the tip of the great iceberg (not the Titanic) - the rigorous life of a teenager.

Begining from the alarm to the peace of a few hours sleep, it is heavy traffic all the way.As a student it is indeed hard not to feel sorry for oneself. Tutions,schools, practicals,notes - they rule the daily life. And they are so " arranged" in a big merry maze. To find the right path,there is an enormous task and nobody actually excavates it.The path we follow is a long chain of minor "adjustments" - a look here, a jolting there, ace(carbon copy) somewhere an answer popping in the air,you make all the ends meet somehow. How, We dont not know yet, we manage to strive on ( Try, Try,Try again!!)

Teens are the most unpredictable all say, but teenage is the most exciting.Its a gala up and down, a little roller coaster of joys and smiles sandwitched between despair and tears so much like our protein icebergs in "lipid sea". The average day is laden with naughty smiles, "special looks", harmless gossips and endless murmur.

We pretend the classes are interesting;physics is over your head (Is it Roman? ), Biology a curious mixture of -ologies and illogical names and mathematics -How to describe it? Class hours are golden hours of dreaming. You find your heart wandering away into the land of your dreams..... You are floating in air....bubbles of happiness seem to be blowing...When sloosh..! Everything is destroyed by that "merciless" question;- " How do you converte -hyde to -cohol? (How you wish your organic chemistry is not as volatile as soap bubbles !!) You try to catch some sleep (last night had been movies night out) and then comes another "quiz" time with the teacher. Thus the time passes by....a colourful fusion of dreams, sleep and notes....

Trriing...!!!!! The much awaited lunch hour greets us with a smiling fac. But then you feel time is racing to catch the next flight to Newyork -you eat,crack jokes,laugh,flight and then look at your watchroom !! It is time for the classes again. So back to the classrooms. The cycle continues just like the revivalof ancestral characters. The long bell rings and it is scramble time again. Off to tutions. You run,sweat,settle and listen to something. But your stomach has been complanining for sometime.

At last you reach your paradise, the land of your hope, your house. You feel like a punching bag and then once you see the bed, there is no thinking twice -you sleep,sleep and then sleep again. The calmness of the sleep is somthing very special. Thus goes the average day.

Beware..! Life is not that sweet or colourful or a traffic jam, It has its own special rules and greet us with several faces. The most puzzling of all the puzzles is your own self. I, Me, Myself - the ring tone X-generation is limited so hard that you cannot ignore the changes in you. You find you are changing day by day.Old changes giving way to new ones. You discover your multiple personlities, you are amazed at your capacities and you gape and fear all the time. Apprehensions welcome you everywhere and expectations unnerve you. Thus the pain of self-discovery opens the door to you.

The magical wand of the time is "friendship" . Freinds are your best allies, supporters and confidents. But you zigzag between mood swings so erratically that your heart is heavy with the panic of broken friendships, misunderstandings, shortcomings and "thoughtless" words. One problem leads to another and solving them is so difficult that you feel more comfortable with the trignometry than with this daily "arithmatics". But you manage to steer all the pain away, such is the vitality of the young heart. To say yes or no is the mosty difficult of all you learn . Life is a never ending learning process and you begin to taste samples of this phenemenon. You grow in wisdom and maturity.

At the end of all, you are excited that jigsaw puzzle though with broken pieces has been sowed and then life agin becomes colourful and sweet. Thus you become a well oiled machine in the hands of time. But your heart tugs at you with all the flashes of innocent smiles, tears, yawns and frowns of adolescence and you realise that life has been kind to you. You feel that you wouldnt have asked for more. Can you??

Thursday, March 19, 2009

After Publishing My Thoughts

As i feared nobody came and beat me up after reading my first post..i dunt knw whether it is because people didnt read it or just cause they simply liked it or may be they didnt understand anything..but if you were ask me..i will definitely go with the second option..yea, i know sounds selfish..cant help it..!
If people cant value the emerald(i just love am not supporting that go green campaign..) in this second post..i didnt wanna go all philosophical n all( you guessed it right..) it is undoubtedly cause of those warnings i got from those few who read my first post. One thing is there that me writing a blog, phew..cant let that feeling sink in that easy..! Call it humility but i will call it accepetance of the truth..!
I told i started my blog in a really low moment, but am happy to let you all know that am in full form you cant expect all that remembernce of renumeration and all from me today..!
Writing actually makes you feel "good", if you understand what i am doing something better than chatting in orkut or facebook..! Am sure that if they didnt beat me up for my first post..they "l defintiley beat the hell out of me for criticising the best social network in the world( or should i say a matrimonial site ). you cant blame me for that thought taking to consideration the fact that my class mate is busy planning her future with the guy she met in orkut say what two weeks before..!
Stand up ovation for Orkut..!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Sort Of Introduction

Don’t you feel that you are in a labyrinth? So many paths, Only one leads to the outside world. All the rest is a futile multitude of hope. Don’t you then crave for the presence of someone to tell you that your heart still owns a cubicle for him? Don’t you then see a butterfly dying frozen? If you take it your palm, don’t you see it coming back to life with the heat of your body? THE HEAT IN THE FROZEN WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don’t you crave for it.. my friend.....between us only the multitude of time...........

Again a few words, if it doesn’t turn out to be tedious
if you like you can call me dirty
once , when the summer heat was sizzling, I happened to come through a bulk of letters written by someone to someone.
I stared reading them, though the words sprawled on the page. the sky-blue colour of Indian letters. I started to dip into the private world of two persons, one definitely anonymous, except by name which is of no use.
My generation has lost the passion of letter writing. Our communication is of sparse sentences: often unemotive.
I read those twenty and odd letters within an hour........
How beautiful is the human mind, which we often neglect and brand as blank........
Every one of us has a secret; a mind-blowing secret........
that some one whose letters were so; whose beautiful thoughts , the labyrinthine maze of emotions were swept away by
masks; I am sure masks.......
beneath those masks that someone interred him/herself.........
once, I would tell that someone. Perhaps then he/she would come back.......but wrinkles are already on her/his face. Time indeed is an irredeemable force.

These days i find one thing very true. It’s a philosophy of piranhas .They devour an animal within seconds. Why this haste...... for their life is so short. So sometimes I feel that I want to be very hasty...... things blur.. Flames fade death merges dreams to voidity...... only that much. What is untold is more profound....... au revoir tous...